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Sunday, February 10, 2013

THE AVENGERS (2012): Funny and Memorable Quotes

This is one BIG blockbuster movie. Enough said. Enjoy!










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Pepper Potts: Is this about the Avengers? Which I know nothing about. 
Tony Stark: The Avengers initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify. 
Pepper Potts: I didn't know that either. 
Tony Stark: Apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others. 
Pepper Potts: I knew that. 


[Stark suits up to chase Thor and Loki
Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack! 
Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack! 


Steve Rogers: Doctor Banner, I think now might be a good time for you to get angry. 
Bruce Banner: That's my secret, Cap: I'm always angry. 
[Banner hulks out and punches the Leviathan


Pepper Potts: Levels are holding steady... I think. 
Tony Stark: Of course they are, I was directly involved. Which brings me to my next question: how does it feel to be a genius? 
Pepper Potts: Well, ha, I really wouldn't know now, would I? 
Tony Stark: What do you mean? All this came from you. 
Pepper Potts: No. All this came from that. 
[Points to the energy in his chest plate
Tony Stark: Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself... 12% of the credit. 
Pepper Potts: Twelve percent? 
Tony Stark: An argument can be made for fifteen. 
Pepper Potts: Twelve percent for my baby? 
Tony Stark: Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things. And sorry, but the security snafu? That was on you. 
Pepper Potts: Oooooh. 
Tony Stark: My private elevator... 
Pepper Potts: You mean OUR elevator? 
Tony Stark: ...was teeming with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I? 
Pepper Potts: Not gonna be that subtle. 
Tony Stark: I'll tell you what. Next building's gonna say 'Potts' on the tower. 
Pepper Potts: On the lease. 
Tony Stark: ...Call your mom, can you bunk over? 


Loki: What have I to fear? 
Tony Stark: The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. "Earth's Mighiest Heroes" type thing. 
Loki: Yes, I've met them. 
Tony Stark: Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them. 
Loki: That was the plan. 
Tony Stark: Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they'll come for you. 
Loki: I have an army. 
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk. 
Loki: I thought the beast had wandered off... 
Tony Stark: You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it! 


Security Guard: Are you an alien? 
Bruce Banner: What? 
Security Guard: From outer space, an alien. 
Bruce Banner: No. 
Security Guard: Well then son, you've got a condition. 


Nick Fury: Having trouble sleeping? 
Steve Rogers: I've been asleep for 70 years. I think I've had enough rest. 


Natasha Romanoff: [all arguing in the lab] Are you really that dense? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats. 
Bruce Banner: Captain America is on threat watch? 
Natasha Romanoff: We ALL are! 
Tony Stark: [to Rogers] You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees? 
Steve Rogers: I swear, Stark, one more wisecrack out of you... 
Tony Stark: Verbal threat! Threatening! I'm being threatened! 


Nick Fury: Where's Barton? 
Selvig: The Hawk? Up in his nest, as usual. 


Faceless Pilot: Target acquired. 
[Fires guns at Hulk
Faceless Pilot: Target engaged. 
[as Hulk leaps toward airplane
Faceless Pilot: TARGET ANGRY! TARGET ANGRY! 


[Banner arrives in New York on a motorcycle just as the Chitauri have begun their attack
Bruce Banner: So... this all seems horrible. 
Black Widow: I've seen worse. 
Bruce Banner: Sorry. 
Black Widow: No, we could... use... a little worse. 


Tony Stark: [to Steve Rogers] I'm not afraid to hit an old man.


Iron Man: [as the fight begins] Call it, Cap! 
Captain America: Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal our priority's containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash. 
Hawkeye: [to Iron Man] Want to give me a lift? 
Iron Man: Right. Better clench up, Legolas. 
[Iron Man takes Hawkeye up to the roof
Captain America: Thor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow 'em down. You got the lightning. Light the bastards up. 
[Thor swings his hammer and flies off and Captain America turns to Black Widow
Captain America: You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here. And Hulk? Smash! 
[the Hulk grins and jumps away


[Fires missiles at a leviathan, which turns to pursue him
Tony Stark: Well, I got his attention. What the hell was step two? 




Source: Vitamin-HA.com and IMDb.com

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